Bugs From a Horrible Planet

Have you seen these bad ass bugs anywhere?


I took my Cub Scout pack on a little journey today.

Into the woods behind our house.

Most of them made it back alive.

Some bravely, or timidly, sacrificed their lives for science and humanity.



See, there is an invasion happening that the MSM (main/morbid stream media) is not talking about, and it's worse than the war going on at the US-Mexican border.


As far as I've been able to figure out,

the facts are such as follows:


(1.) Aliens from Outer Deep Space are here, coming from a Horrible Planet that is full of poisoned music, trashy snacks, vain celebrity monstrosities, boring blog-like apparitions, and gaudy garments draped over anything that moves.

(2.) The aliens hate us.

(3.) They want to take over the planet Earth.

(4.) They fear us.

(5.) They are sneaky and smart.

(6.) They are tiny, but deadly.

(7.) They look like harmless bugs.

(8.) They eat harmless bugs.

(9.) They like our insects, especially spiders, so much, they want to live here, and kick us out.

(10.) They have invented massively destructive computer worms, viruses, and other vile code strings.

(11.) They are implanting our computer systems and networks with these malicious entities via text messaging, emails, podcasts, and RSS feeds.

(12.) They use email subject lines like "eBay account update mandatory" and "your dentist detected an obstruction in your filling" and etc.

(13.) They can't spell too good, like most spammers.

(14.) They live in the woods and like to camp out by streams and rivers.

(15.) They build little structures in clumps of poison ivy, hoping humans will shun them.

(16.) They can be destroyed by staring at them for several minutes.

(17.) Cub Scouts are good at staring at evil aliens.

(18.) Cub Scouts with ADHD are NOT good at staring at aliens. (They are vulnerable to alien retaliatory attack.)


So, parents, keep your children away from anything that disrupts attention spans.

Thus, severely limit or eliminate television viewing, movie watching, video games, occult practices, beer drinking, text messaging, emailing, soda pop, candy, artificial preservatives, trance channelling, rap music, and any vegetative, brain dead, couch potato activity.

Make them get up and mow the lawn, paint the picket fence, or visit an elderly shut in neighbor, with adult supervision.



Give your kids books, yes old fashioned paper and ink books, to read.

Force your youth to focus.

Set a good example. Read books. Write letters. Solve puzzles. Compute math problems. Create art, poetry, crafts projects, sculpture, and non-repetitive, aleatory, meandering music.

Do anything that requires concentration, patience, struggle, and rigorous mental effort, and get your children involved.

Together, we can save the Earth we so recklessly pollute, abuse, and disregard.

Thanks.